Do You Lean In?

I was flipping through Cosmo the other day while I was getting a manicure (a blissfully peaceful 45 minutes) and came across an interview with Facebook's CEO Sheryl Sandberg.  She has started a movement (based on her new book) called "Lean In." Since I read that article, I've seen her all over the morning talk shows, on facebook and twitter.

This movement is very apropos for me right now, as I've recently been asked to give a presentation on Marketing and Social Media to a "Principles of Marketing" class at Washington University here in St. Louis.  Wash U students? My first thought was "They're all probably smarter than me! What could I possibly have to tell them?"

And herein lies the problem.  I'm fairly confident. And when it comes to writing, social media and marketing, I know my stuff.  But I don't believe I know more than the next guy. When I'm complimented, I immediately play down whatever success or achievement I've received. I don't know if this is a product of being raised a girl with nice manners, or just my own insecurities bubbling way too close to the surface. In any case, I've been asked to give this presentation, I've accepted the invitation, and now there's no backing out.  So, okay, I'm going to stand up in front of 50 college students and teach them something (I hope) about social media marketing.



But I digress.  Ms. Sandberg has created an organization called Lean In, where women are encouraged to tell their stories about speaking out, gaining more confidence and helping each other achieve their goals.  Are there times in your career where you've sat in a conference room against the back wall, rather than taking a chair right at the table? Are there times you've wanted to speak up, share your opinion, or disagree with decisions being made, but stayed silent?





Then this book - this organization - might be for you.  I'd like to think that by the time my seven year-old daughter begins her career, she won't even have to think about leaning in.  She'll just do it. Not because someone told her to, but because she believes she can. Because she has a voice, ideas, intelligence and drive. And she's worth listening to.




Listen, we do tend to underestimate ourselves. We must realize not only our potential but our current worth.  When I look back over the past 20 years of my career, I see more than a dozen articles and essays published, client projects created, managed and executed, ideas shared, thoughts given, lessons learned. Sure, there are people out there who know more than me, who've had different experiences, but what I bring to the table is my history, my experiences, my successes - and failures - and the sum total of all of them is nothing short of fantastic. It's true that I'm never satisfied, I'm always looking for what's next - what new social platforms are there to become an expert in, what marketing tools are trending, what topics can I write about that are new and interesting to readers? But sometimes, in all my desire to do more, write better, think smarter, work harder, I forget what I've already accomplished, what I'm doing right now. Today.




Every time I see a statement like this one, that compares men and women, I have mixed emotions. On one hand, I couldn't agree more with this statement. On the other hand, I have two sons and a daughter. And I don't like people labeling my sons any more than I like them labeling my daughter. But in my experience, men do seem much more comfortable talking themselves up, whereas the women I know are much more liable to talk each other up.  Interesting, isn't it?
The truth is, we women tend to let other people sway the way we feel about ourselves.  I am definitely guilty of this.


But I digress. If there is one piece of advice I can offer, it is this: No one else has had your exact experiences, your education, your training, your life. Use these to the best of your ability and you will certainly have something unique to offer.

This movement is growing daily. I'm just a writer who happened to be moved by what I read. Enough so that I want to share it with you.  More than share, I'd like to add my two cents... offer you something more, maybe inspire you to visit LeanIn.org and learn more - maybe even share your story. What I do know is this: If it's true that women tend to underestimate themselves, it can also be said that we always have each other's backs.  When we're young - well, that's another story. If you don't mind me generalizing, young girls tend to be catty, competitive, dare I say - bitchy.  (Hey - I spent four years in a Catholic all-girl school - I should know!) But as we mature, and come into our own, we become supportive, empathetic, empowering. We realize that without each other we can't be nearly as strong. And that the female friendships we've forged over the years are the most important relationships of our lives. So, if you have the urge to compete with, criticize, or judge another woman, let it be yourself.

But don't be too hard on that woman you see in the mirror - she's smart, beautiful inside and out, talented and kind. And she has so much to offer. Go ahead... Lean In!

Was there a time when you didn't lean in? When you did?  Finish this sentence: "I am leaning in because..."

4 Things Every Kid Must Know, Courtesy of My Career

Working full-time is a tough gig for a mom. For a single mom - of three? Tougher still. There are days when I wish I had those years back.... The 9 years I spent at home, taking care of my babies, freelancing on the side. Being there always.  But you know what? There are things I've learned in business - specifically in the marketing industry - that have helped me as a parent.  

So, for all you moms out there who get up at the crack of dawn, get your kids ready and off to school, and then head into the office, work all day, and then race home in rush hour to get your kids, make dinner, help with homework, give baths and tuck your babies in, only to do it all again the next day (whew!), this one's for you. (Come to think of it, this one's also for you moms who stay home all day, parenting, running a household, and parenting some more.)

Here, the top 4 things I learned from my career, that I've tried to pass on to my kids. Things they might not learn in school, but will need one day in the not-to-distant future.  Can you just picture your youngest now, college diploma in hand; a wide-eyed idealist filled with a nice mix of fear and excitement, heading out into the "real world"?  

But I digress.  Here's my (short) list of things every kid should know before graduating:

#1   How to Shake Hands. 
This is important, and not just for boys!  Nothing irks me more than when I meet a professional – man or woman- who barely touches my hand with a feminine lightness.  It’s bad enough from women, but when men do it?  UGH! Teach your kids to:

A. Use a confident grip.
B. Look the person IN THE EYE.
C. Employ basic, reciprocal communication (i.e. how are you? I’m good, thank you, how are you?)

When I went back into the "working world" one of my first clients told me that what most impressed him about me was the way I shook hands.  I've never forgotten that.  

#2  How to Manage Money  

Many of us learn our first money lessons at home, but let me tell you, being responsible for creating a budget, getting it approved by a client, and then creating and running a marketing campaign, and staying within that budget (or explaining why you didn't), sheds a whole new light on money management. So, take your allowance lesson one step further: 
A. Give your child a way to earn money. 
B. Teach them how to save!  Every time my kids earn money, they can take their pay in cold, hard cash, but they know that whatever portion of that money they choose to put directly into savings I will match.  So, if they earn $20, and put it all in savings, I will make a deposit of $40.  If they want $10 in cash, and put $10 in savings, I will make a $20 deposit into their savings account.
C. Decide what you can afford to spend on clothing for your teen. Now put your teen in charge of that budget.  When the money's gone, it's gone. If they have $150 to spend, and they put it all towards that expensive pair of designer jeans, so be it.  But there will be nothing left for tops, shoes, etc.

D. Never, ever let them borrow money for something they want right now.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a store when one of my kids sees something they want.  Inevitably they don’t have their wallet with them. Or worse yet, they have money, but not enough.  And I get the” “I’m babysitting/mowing the lawn this weekend, so I can pay you back then!” speech.  Do NOT fall for this.  It only teaches them to borrow.  And guess what, you’re not a bank.  If you must do this, be sure you charge them interest! Better, though, to teach them instead to save for what they want.  9 times out of 10, by the time they have earned enough money, they’ve forgotten about that “must have” item anyway.

#3 How to Protect your Brand  

Marketing is all about branding:  Raising awareness about a brand, consistency of brand message, how a brand wants to be perceived.  From the sales brochure, to the customer service rep, to the social voice, the online and tv ads to the in-store POS, there must be synergy. 

Your child is a brand. Her name, her face. And everything having to do with Brand: You, must be consistent.  From the way they act in school, to their social media profiles and they way they talk around their friends.  How do they want to be perceived?  You can’t get straight As in school and then run around on the weekends in your school sweatshirt swearing up a storm and posting inappropriate comments on social profiles, and then apply to top-notch colleges.  Belive you me, your actions will catch up with you.   Make sure they understand that in this day and age, anything they say or do can easily be recorded, uploaded to the internet, shared among friends and strangers alike.  And once it's out there - forget about getting it back. I see this happen with brands all the time. It's a PR nightmare. Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, once said: "Personal brand is what people say about you when you leave the room."  So, protect your brand image.  And don't give anyone the opportunity to ruin it for you.

#4 How to Dream Big.  We do a fair amount of concepting (brainstorming) for clients. And when we're all sitting around a conference room table (or in a circle of beanbag chairs), trying to think of a fun/cool/big way to introduce a product, or increase sales, we've got to get outside of the typical way of thinking.  No idea is too big, no thought is too crazy.  Because if we can dream it up, then we can find a way to make it happen.  So if your daughter wants to be an astronaut, or your son wants to host his own cooking show - give them the confidence to believe it can happen, and the tools to get started making their dream a reality.  All it takes is a little creative thinking, and the right people to get the job done.  The only person who can stop you from realizing your dreams is you.

Your turn: What have you learned from the business world that you've taught your own kids?  Go ahead - tell us in the comments... it's nice to share!

Give it Up for Lent OR My Religious Rant

Facebook, soda, sugar, bad words, yelling, etc., etc.  So many things I've heard this week about what people are going to "give up" for Lent.

My oldest son and I have had a few (short) conversations on the subject.  His take is that there is no point.  He calls it all Malarky (yep, he's making good, clean fun of our Vice President, Joe Biden, with that one).  My take is that you have to take it with a grain of salt.  To me, the point of giving up something for Lent is about a reminder of what Jesus gave up for us - his life.  It stands to reason, doesn't it, that we should be able to sacrifice a bit.  Temporarily, of course.

I know I'm going to catch some hell (you're welcome) for this one, but Religion is a business.  It is a business, my friends.  And any organization as large as Christianity, for example, must have set rules, leaders, boundaries, a mission statement... all of these things in order to keep it (hopefully) running smoothly.  In this case, the book of rules is, apparently, the Bible.  This is good.  Except that every religion sort of "picks and chooses" which parts of the Bible they should follow, listen to, take seriously.

I, for one, don't believe that no one of the Jewish faith can go to heaven because they haven't accepted Jesus as their Lord.  Come on, now, people! Jesus was a Jew!  He went to heaven!  Heck, he's seated at the Father's right hand, is he not?  So, God in all His infinite wisdom is not going to say, "Hmmm... you're Jewish?  Out ya go!"

I have a very strong faith. I really do. And I don't feel that my faith needs to be constrained by rules that some very old, uninformed men place upon me.  Heck, these same men are the ones who still insist on calling all its followers "Men."  Ummm, I'm no English major (oh, wait, YES I AM!) and maybe these guys didn't get the memo, but "Men" means MALE.  As in... pees standing up.  "Men" does NOT encompass all people.  "People" encompasses all people.  "Men and Women" would also be acceptable.

But I digress.

This never really bothered me until I had my daughter.  As parents, we sort of say "mess with me all you want, but if you even so much as lift an eyebrow at my kid..."  So, as I stood next to my mom in church all those years, I was mortified each time she'd speak the word "She" loudly, as the congregation was saying "He." And replacing (out loud, mind you) the word "men" with "people."  Why does it matter, I thought?  It never really bothered me.  Except that now, in church, I refuse to say "men" - not because I don't like them.  I do.  I mean, I really do (ask my friends).  More than that, I happen to be raising two of them, who, in my humble opinion are pretty kick a*#.  But I don't want my daughter to feel left out.  I don't want her to think she's not every bit as important or worthy.

Remember last year when the Catholic Church changed some of the congregational responses during mass?  Instead of saying "And Also With You," as we all did for our entire lives up until that point, suddenly, when the Priest says, "May the Lord Be With You," we are to respond, "And with your spirit."  Really?  How many man (yes, that was intentional) hours do you think it took, how much budget, to get that line changed?  There were a few others, too.  Did they not think it was high time to finally change some of the wording to encompass ALL congregants?  No?  Well, why not?  I have a little girl who is going to grow up hearing "for us men..." Do they think she won't catch it? Forgive me, but she's smarter than that.  And if this religion can give pardons to priests just for listening to confessions during Lent (oh, yes they do) then what, pray tell, is the point? And please don't get me started on the whole business of confessing your sins to the man behind the curtain.

But I digress.  Again.  Deep down, I believe in the traditions passed down by those who came before me.  I think it's a good idea to remind myself of the sacrifice, the love that is my God. So, this year I'm going to quit those four letter words that seem to flow so smoothly from my mouth.  And maybe, after four weeks, it will become habit not to say them. I'll also avoid meat on Fridays. I realize not everyone does it, but it's such a small thing to do. And it serves to remind me of the season.

Fellow Catholics: What do you give up? And do you follow the practice of avoiding meat on Fridays? And for anyone of another religion, how do you feel about the business side of your faith? 

Embraceable You

Yeah, you.  Change, that is.

Here's the thing about change.  It happens whether you're looking for it or not.  Most people I know feel very strongly about it, one way or the other.  They either HATE it, or embrace it fully.  Funny thing though, even the ones who hate it, the folks who fight it all the way (you know who you are), realize (once they're through it) that it's not such a bad thing, after all.  Good things can come from change.

Take my brother, for example, the die-hard PC guy.  He scoffed at my Apple loving until one day, out of the blue, he was given a MacBook Air to use for work.  Now? He's got an iPhone 5 and an iPad mini.  Yeah, he changed.  And he loves it!

Or my mom, who finally - FINALLY - got herself wireless internet service (yeah, I know...) and can not fathom how she lived without it (or that MacBook Air she inherited from the aforementioned brother).

I've watched several friends go through tough times over the past few years, not wanting to deal with the change that fate was handing them.  And now they can't imagine life any other way.  They're actually grateful for the changes.

I am an embracer of change.  There are things that I'm tied to - my workouts for example - but I also am always open to trying new things.  It's not so much that I must have boot camp, I just must have exercise, I must stay fit and feel healthy and strong.  Any way I can make that happen makes me happy (okay, so Shark Fitness boot camp is still my favorite, sue me).

This year, I'm embracing more change.  I'm working on a revamp of my freelance business... a new name, new logo and (finally) a website (bethmwood.com) to showcase my work.  I'm also working on a few feature articles for larger market magazines.

The excitement of what's around the next bend keeps me going.  Kids seem to embrace change more easily than adults.  But maybe that's because they are constantly changing - it's part of their growth.

To wit: The other night, I opened up my middle son's backpack and found a mess.  About twenty crumpled sheets of looseleaf were stuffed inside, around folders with dog-earred corners, empty candy wrappers, broken pencils, and pens with the caps missing.  I smoothed out each page and had him go through them with me to make sure he didn't still need any of them for school.  I guarantee there were a few missing assignments in there (like that homework page he swore the teacher never gave him).

Last night, my oldest was pulling out a folder from his backpack to work on some homework.  I couldn't help but notice all the looseleaf pages inside were perfectly straight and organized.  I looked at him and said, "Remember a few years ago, when you were in 7th grade? Your backpack looked exactly like your brother's."  He just smiled.  See? There's hope for Jack yet!

Change is good.  Stepping out of your comfort zone is good, too, as it invites change.  The aforementioned lovable, yet disorganized Jack put a band together a few weeks ago to try out for his school's talent show.  Four 13 year-old boys played "Dream On" for four judges.  Thirty three acts tried out.  His was one of the 15 that made it.  I'm so proud of his fearlessness, his desire to try new things.

I took a page from his book, and sent in my first fiction story to a short story competition.  It may get cut in the first round, but at least I gave it a shot.  It felt good to stretch my creative muscles and try something different.  You never know what doors will open when you give yourself over to change.

Like Sam Cooke sang so beautifully, A Change is Gonna Come.  I can feel it in the brisk, cold air, the blustery wind.  It's invigorating.

 What about you? Are you adverse to change? Or do you embrace it?

Top 10 Ways to Tell You're a Shark

 

It's that time of year again.  The gyms are overflowing with resolution-makers clad in matching outfits with cute logos, perfect ponytails and just the right touch of lipstick and mascara.  They're simultaneously jogging on the treadmill while they watch tv, read a magazine and carry on a conversation with their friend on the next machine without breaking stride.  Some work out.  Ever told your kids that they'll get out of school what they put into it? The same rule applies to your exercise.  

I've been attending Shark Fitness Boot Camp for four years now.  And in honor of the NEW YEAR and the beginning of my 5th year as a Shark, I thought I'd share the 

Top 10 Ways to Tell You're A Shark:

10. You can't wait to begin class because it's too damn cold to stand around any longer.
9. You park in the first available parking space, rather than wait for the ones closest to the door.
8. You no longer drink Margaritas.  Not even on Cinco de Mayo (thanks Keath).
7. At the end of every workout your shirt is drenched and you're exhausted.  And happy.
6. You've heard Beth say a few, choice 4-letter words.
5. You know bananas taste the same coming up.
4. You've heard George say "Best. Set. of Pushups. Ever!"
3. You know the value of being on time.  
2. You know what a 6 year old order of french fries looks like (no different than a 6-second old order of french fries).
And #1. You've invited all your friends and family members to attend a class because "It's so much fun!"

Maybe you can tell that I've been missing my boot camp - and can't WAIT until 0600 on Thursday to get started again! It is my exercise, my stress relief, my "me" time.  I couldn't be more proud to be part of such a fantastic group of people.  We're strong, inside and out.  We never quit.  We have an amazing work ethic that carries over into our personal and professional lives.  And we know what it means to give 100%.  
If any of this sounds intriguing to you, check it out.  I promise that not only will it be worth your while, it may very well change your life.

Happy New Year!