Monday, March 22, 2010

Award...fact or fiction?

To the inimitable Linda O'Connell, I offer a heartfelt "thank you!" for bestowing upon me the above prestigious award.

As I understand it, this great honor is a license to be creative which, as all writers know, is akin to putting a Labrador Retriever in a room full of rawhide and commanding him to "Chew!"

Rules of acceptance require me to list seven wild and wacky little known facts about myself, at least one of which must be true (all may be true if I decide to let you in on my deep, dark secrets). You, buttercup, will have to decide for yourself which, if any, of the facts below are crazy truths or creative fiction:

1. When I was 17 (before cell phones!) I got lost driving alone out to a friend's farm house for a party. Scared out of my mind, and puffing on cigarette after cigarette, I almost drove into a swamp, backed out of a corn field and knocked on a trailer door at midnight. A grumpy old man in a wife-beater answered the door, holding a shot gun. I calmly told him I was lost, and he shut the door in my face. I found a black top road and stood in the middle of it waving my arms above my head frantically until a union worker on his way to work stopped and offered to lead me to the nearest highway.
2. At the age of three, I visited Universal Studios with my family. I was standing outside the men's restroom waiting for my dad & older brother, when a young Robert Redford walked by, patted me on the head and smiled before continuing on his way. I don't think my mom washed my hair for a week...
3. I saw Billy Squire in concert at the American Theater. He was dressed head to toe in pink leather. He saw me dancing on my table and pulled me up onto the stage. "Stroke Me" still brings tears to my eyes...
4. When I was 20 years old, I danced on the bar at a local sports bar, and had dollar bills stuffed in my jeans
5. Walking down Rush street in Chicago, I ran right into David Schwimmer and another actor (the first year "friends" was on tv). I didn't know his "real" name, so I just pointed at him and said "Hey! You're ROSS!" He rolled his eyes and kept walking.
6. The first time I flew overseas, I sat next to a very attractive guy a few years older than me. Unfortunately, I got very motion sick going through some turbulence, and went through four airline "puke" bags. Despite my unattractive behavior, my seat-mate asked me to dinner.
7. I've edited two books by local authors (a "how to" on sales, and a history of Ballwin).
Tag, Jean. You're It! Cut and paste the image and instructions to your blog and pass it on.


  1. I think #4, #5, and #7 are true. The rest are figments of your very active imagination, the high point of which was when you were about four or five years old and we were flying to California. You saw "smoke" coming out of the wing and promptly told everyone around us that we were on fire. People seemed just a bit concerned as evidenced by the "Hail Mary's" being said out loud:) It was on the same flight that, as we took off and flew up to a higher altitude, your precious Rub-A-Dub dolly quickly compressed and became less than half of herself. You were beside yourself with horror until we flew lower and dolly expanded with you was, and still is, always exciting!

    March 22, 2010 11:35 AM

  2. OMG this is hysterical! Your mom's post is just as funny. You two should do a comedy show.

  3. You're so darn cute and CREATIVE. I so miss you!

  4. Linda - Funny stuff, I know. I think I need to find a humor mag to submit to - know any?
    Rose - I miss YOU too! Come visit us here in the Lou!

    P.S. #1 is True, got the facts wrong on #2: we were actually in D.C. at the Capitol Building, and I was 5 or 6 - but otherwise true. #3: I did see Billy Squier, and yes, he was all in pink leather, and yes, I danced on the table, but he did NOT pull me up on stage (i believe he picked a boy instead - imagine that!). #s 4,5 & 7 are true. #6 is false. ; )