What if... (it doesn't work out, someone gets hurt, something goes wrong, someone says no, no one agrees with me/likes it /understands ...)?
How will this affect my... (kids, relationships, career, family, life, future...) ?
What will my... (family/friends/kids...) think?
I have an alter ego in my head, and she is continually screaming at/to me.
She is alternately my voice of reason and my reason for drinking.
I simply must shut her up.
But I digress. That venn diagram represents the two parts of me that, more often than not, are at war.
My Heart vs. My Mind
Why, oh why, are they never in sync? And why do I have such trouble saying, "Let's Go!"?
(author's note: this is not about right vs. wrong - big difference!)
If my twenties were all about trying to grow up (accomplished, thank you), and my thirties were all about trying to figure out who I am (again, good to go), then my forties, God willing, will be about becoming comfortable with all I've learned in the past, and just... LIVING.
A week or so ago, my very wise writer friend, Lynn, wrote these words to me:
Does it really matter if you get hurt? or disappointed? or angry? or whatever? Isn't that what life is - that we learn from those things and just make the best of it?
Then I ran into my good friend, Mary Lou, this past weekend and was lamenting another birthday, especially one that starts with a "4," when she said to me...
"Well, Beth, it's better than the alternative."
Wiser words, I tell ya.
So, on this, the eve of my fortieth birthday, I've decided to go ahead and let that loud-mouth, opinionated, do-gooder in my head rule for One. More. Day. And that's it. I'm done with her. This decade I'm going to say, "Let's Go!"