Wednesday, June 29, 2011

iPhones and Margaritas

The first iPhone came out four years ago.
Hard to believe it's only been four years.
And I, a proud iPhone owner, ever since.
A gift from my parents for my 35th birthday.

Since then, I've replaced it once (after it took a swim in the toilet) and upgraded it once (to the 3GS). I've been holding onto this one until the new 5 comes out, and don't mind saying that I've done a swell job of keeping it away from water (especially after ingesting multiple margaritas) and in it's protective case.

The case is something, isn't it? The new iPhones are so much slimmer than the first ones were four years ago. Artistic and futuristic in design - slim, shiny, with rounded corners. Fits into the back pocket of your jeans just perfectly (hence the drop into the toilet). Then you go and put a clunky, plastic cover on it to keep it pristine. To protect it from falls on the concrete, scratches from the car keys in your purse (mind you, they have not come out with a fully waterproof option. Yet. ). But I digress...

The iPhone/Toilet Fiasco, as I affectionately refer to it, went something like this:

I have had a few (3) margaritas. I'm free to admit that, as a card-carrying member of the 21+ set. It's a Saturday night. I'm not driving. Anyway, my new iPhone is resting comfortably in the back pocket of my Lucky brand jeans. I run to the bathroom to, well, to return some of the margaritas, and..."Ker-Plunk" - my phone drops into the toilet before I even have a chance to sit down.

I scream.

Being a brand new device, I was not yet aware that kitty litter might be my saving grace (and even if I'd had this tidbit of knowledge, I don't own a cat...). Fast forward to the following morning...

Head down, tail between my legs, I sulk into the Apple store and, surrounded by co-eds, wait my turn. My Genius comes over and asks me how he can help me. I hold out my phone, and as he is about to take it from me, I mumble something about dropping it into the toilet. He withdraws his hand like it has just been lit on fire.

"Umm..okay," he says to me, "Was the toilet? When you, uhh...dropped it?

"NO." This very enthusiastically. Proud, almost. Whew! I think.

The throng of college students turns and looks, horrifically, in my direction. Genius takes the phone gingerly between his thumb and forefinger, holding it out in front of him like a piece of moldy cheese (I did say, "no" there was nothing in the toilet, didn't I?)

He asks me to have a seat on the stool and wait just a moment while he tests the phone.

A few moments later he is back. Takes the stool next to mine, scoots it closer. Takes my hands in his. "It doesn't look good."

I am reminded of a scene from E.R. We lost the patient (in this case, my iPhone), and had it quickly replaced (as is possible with electronic devices).

But I digress...

It's been four years since the first iPhone. Much has changed since then. Not just for Apple, but for me, as well. (But I will not digress again.) I'm still loyal to the brand. Without my iPhone I would be lost (quite literally sometimes, without mapquest). More than a phone, it's my address book, my connection to my friends, and most importantly, my kids. It's my photo album, music player, video maker and player, my social media touchpoint (I post and tweet almost exclusively from it), my calorie counter, my shopping list keeper...I could go on (I won't).

If it would only clean the house. But maybe there's an app for that.


  1. I had to laugh at the cell phone in the toilet. 21 yr old granddaughter in line at store, several people ahaed of us. I hold her place. As I get closer to check out I call her. I can HEAR voice through the bathroom across from us as she screams, OH NO IT'S IN THE TOILET!" New phone.

  2. Linda: too funny...glad I'm not the only one! You'd think they'd have come up with some gadget to prevent this, or at least fix it, when it happens. Not If - WHEN! Ha!